I am loving all of these audish stories! Here's another from an anonymous friend:
Collaboraction Sketchbook Auditions
The set up is this:
A lively celebration of staged theatrical works, music and fine art, SKETCHBOOK is a short play festival like no other. Each year Collaboraction guides more than 200 artists through an exciting collaboration where 10-20 short performances, each seven minutes or less in length, mingle with visual art and music. The SKETCHBOOK Festival is Collaboraction at its best: breaking down the walls that divide theater, music, visual art, video and the Internet, transforming the space into a singular world where audiences can be both spectator and artist, contributing to dynamism of each performance.
As an actor you get the opportunity to work with a lot of people in the field, reviewers are certain to come out, and it adds some "cred" to your resume as a legitimate theater festival in the city. The catch, it's a 20 second audition. Literally 20 seconds. This is my third year doing the Collaboraction auditions.
The first year, I stressed and stressed the week before. What will I do with my 20 seconds. It's so short. How will they know? I have to show them something AWESOME! What's awesome in 20 seconds? WHAT'S AWESOME IN 20 SECONDS??? A joke, a joke is awesome in 20 seconds. What's funny? I just happened to be doing my taxes at the time, when "bing" my taxes are pretty funny. I make no money, write off everything, and pretty much end up a wash. So that's what I did. I read my taxes. It went over. I got two callbacks.
The second year, I was so busy with life, I completely forgot about the audition and never showed up. Which is another good thing about Sketchbook auditions, they are SO fast and they see SO many people, they just don't have time to worry about those who no show. I can't believe I did, it's very unlike me, but it just slipped past me.
This year I signed up, and decided just not to worry about it, I mean 20 seconds. they did amp it up this year though. You got two 20 second slots. One that was supposed to be physical and one that was supposed to be monologue-y. So the night before I was at the theater and I found a headband with antenna on it. I thought those look like a crickets. I can make a cricket noise, and "voila", first 20 seconds. I was a cricket. Then I thought, hey I do improv and I like to sing. I'll just make up a song about someone in the room, second 20 seconds. I made up a song about some guy in the room.
All in all I thought the audition went horribly. I kind of pooped out in the song, didn't get anything to rhyme, started singing in a crazy Texas accent that came from nowhere, maybe sang for 11 seconds. The thought entered my mind, perhaps just perhaps I might have wanted to prep a little more on this part.
My own perceptions aside, I did get a callback. Which I find hilarious, and leaves me with the question: does it really matter what I do? Probably not, just as long as I show up.