Another Guest Blog

I am loving all of these audish stories! Here's another from an anonymous friend:

Collaboraction Sketchbook Auditions
The set up is this:
A lively celebration of staged theatrical works, music and fine art, SKETCHBOOK is a short play festival like no other. Each year Collaboraction guides more than 200 artists through an exciting collaboration where 10-20 short performances, each seven minutes or less in length, mingle with visual art and music. The SKETCHBOOK Festival is Collaboraction at its best: breaking down the walls that divide theater, music, visual art, video and the Internet, transforming the space into a singular world where audiences can be both spectator and artist, contributing to dynamism of each performance.

As an actor you get the opportunity to work with a lot of people in the field, reviewers are certain to come out, and it adds some "cred" to your resume as a legitimate theater festival in the city. The catch, it's a 20 second audition. Literally 20 seconds. This is my third year doing the Collaboraction auditions.

The first year, I stressed and stressed the week before. What will I do with my 20 seconds. It's so short. How will they know? I have to show them something AWESOME! What's awesome in 20 seconds? WHAT'S AWESOME IN 20 SECONDS??? A joke, a joke is awesome in 20 seconds. What's funny? I just happened to be doing my taxes at the time, when "bing" my taxes are pretty funny. I make no money, write off everything, and pretty much end up a wash. So that's what I did. I read my taxes. It went over. I got two callbacks.

The second year, I was so busy with life, I completely forgot about the audition and never showed up. Which is another good thing about Sketchbook auditions, they are SO fast and they see SO many people, they just don't have time to worry about those who no show. I can't believe I did, it's very unlike me, but it just slipped past me.

This year I signed up, and decided just not to worry about it, I mean 20 seconds. they did amp it up this year though. You got two 20 second slots. One that was supposed to be physical and one that was supposed to be monologue-y. So the night before I was at the theater and I found a headband with antenna on it. I thought those look like a crickets. I can make a cricket noise, and "voila", first 20 seconds. I was a cricket. Then I thought, hey I do improv and I like to sing. I'll just make up a song about someone in the room, second 20 seconds. I made up a song about some guy in the room.

All in all I thought the audition went horribly. I kind of pooped out in the song, didn't get anything to rhyme, started singing in a crazy Texas accent that came from nowhere, maybe sang for 11 seconds. The thought entered my mind, perhaps just perhaps I might have wanted to prep a little more on this part.

My own perceptions aside, I did get a callback. Which I find hilarious, and leaves me with the question: does it really matter what I do? Probably not, just as long as I show up.

I’ve been a little slow on the VO audishes lately so I don’t have many fun stories in that department. Fortunately for all of us I have fabulously talented friends. Molly recently blogged about a relevant topic and has given me permission to share it here:

Just wanted to share a tip. Let me start off by saying this specific tip applies to on-camera auditions only...

I interned at a casting office and sometimes still free-lance there. Recently something came to my attention. A beautiful, slender, statuesque blonde came into the room. She slated her name. The camera pulled out to get a full body shot. I looked at her, oh so pretty. I looked at the monitor. Oh so pretty hair, shirt, nice jeans...Wait.

Is she hiding cankles? She's so tiny. Why on the screen does she look like big-foot? Oh. It's the Ugg boots with the jeans tucked in. They're creating an illusion.


Read the rest

How To Follow Subtle Directions

I recently went through audishes at an athletic improv theater. I am excited to report they turned out well for me and I will be playing professionally at this theater. The numbers show it was a tight race- 120 people audished and 9 were hired. I don't want to be smarmy and I would have posted this had I not been hired, but yet again I saw some of my talented friends sabotage themselves.

Things we could figure out before the audish:

• The word 'professional' appears 4 times in the post, including "professional appearance" listed as a plus. What does this mean? Business casual, no jeans!

Things we learned during:

• Kudos to the artistic director for starting the audish with a clear and honest speech about the process and what they were looking for. This included being family friendly, no swears. So... be clean and smart! Maybe this is not the best time to sexually harass your scene partner.

30 people were in the callback and honestly I thought everyone could have made the cut. However, there were still a few people who did not follow the two main directions they layed out- people were dressed very casual and the audish started with a blue scene. In fact, the auditor STOPPED THE SCENE and repeated the request for clean comedy. Yikes!

Does this stuff make a difference? Maybe not, but I'm always in favor of being professional and following directions. There were excellent people who were hilarious and were not hired. Auditors might not even be fully aware of it, but if it comes down to two people and one of them followed directions...

As always, stand out in a positive way.

LeBron! It's all for you!

Sometimes what you learn at an audish is that you are totes just not right for the part. Because I like you guys & I can tell that I am in a welcoming environment, I am going to tell you about my audish for the Cleveland Cavaliers Dance Team.

These are actually pics from last year that I found on the cavs site, I tried out in 2003 I think. So at that point I had been a cheerleader for 7 years (jr high, high school, college) and on a dance team for 2 years (college). I thought I was pretty decent, and I didn't know if I really had a shot but it sounded like a fun way to spend a Saturday. So I roped one of my friends into going with me and we picked out our mandatory attire of "A two-piece outfit with flesh-colored tights/hosiery." After we parked the car, we reapplied our glitter eyeshadow and made our way into the audish. We got added to a group and waited an hour or two. Then, as you can see from the photo of 2006 auditions, you get a little number to pin to your little shorts while you learn a little dance combo among a huge group of girls.

By the time it was our group's turn my confidence was fading. I am a "petite" lady and this was starkly obvious. Many of the girls there were tall, skinny, and showing off all of their best assets. I began to realize that normal workout shorts were the exception in this "briefs or hot shorts" crowd. While we were waiting several girls were warming up as all dancers do by basically showing off how flexible and talented they are - doing perfect leaps, turns, and the splits. My friend and I reapplied our glitter eyeshadow and continued stretching.

We got into the main room and learned an across the floor combination and a short dance to a Justin Timberlake song. I did my best on the across the floor, but messed up the combination in front of the judges. I was kindof mad at myself, but I knew that even if I had nailed it I probably was not Cavs Girl material.

After everyone had went, we were sent out to the hall while the judges decided. We were called back in to listen for the numbers of the girls who made it to the next round. As you can see from the photo, it is an intense moment. As you may have guessed, both my friend and I were not called to stay. That's ok, I don't really fit it with slutty girls....oh snap! Just kidding. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to be a cavs girl that year, and by sometimes I mean everytime I see the ad for the Chicago Bulls Dance Team Audish.......

If you are interested in more about the 2006 Cavs Dancers Audish, here is a great video:
http://mfile.akamai.com/12176/wmv/cavaliers.download.akamai.com/12176/ascap/cgauditions_060724.asx

Wardrobe!?...seriously, somebody get me a wardrobe trailer!

About once a year, Second City has an audish for their touring company. We all get a little worked up about it and everybody freaks for a few days.

One year, I had just bought a cute top that I really wanted to wear to my TourCo Audish. I decided this the night before, but I had just worn the same top to work that day. So what is a sassy lady with a wardrobe vision to do? I wore my cute top to my audish in the morning and planned to change at SC before I went to work.

I got to my audish and saw several familiar faces. This is a great thing for an improv audish where the ideal of make your partners look good can be tossed aside by the combination of nervousness, a desire to be funny and strange surroundings. We had a great time in the audish and I walked out of the building with several people talking about it and their current projects.

I got about halfway to the bus stop for the 151 to work and realized I had forgotten to change out of the top I had worn the day before.

I was too far to go back to SC, so I kept walking to the bus. When I got there there was no bus in sight and not much traffic. I thought about a quick change and had gotten my shirt out of my bag when I saw there was a service van with a driver parked about 10 feet away. So I waited. Still no bus. I didn't think anyone at work would really notice, but wanted to change. Still no bus. I looked as far down the road as I could see, saw no bus, and decided to go for the change right there.

I was using the shirt #2 over shirt #1, wiggle out the arms method and had made it past one arm when.... yes, the bus I needed appeared. I had waited a while for this bus and it was not rush hour so I had to take it. I tried to smooth shirt #2 over shirt #1 as I stood up and got on the bus. And, of course, this bus was very full. And I had to sit next to an old man. With my bag on my lap and 1 1/2 shirts on, I had a vrry important decision to make: either finish it now or later when I got off the bus on Michigan Ave.

So while staring straight ahead, I wiggled my arms back up my sleeves, got rid of shirt #1, folded it, put it in my bag and got off the bus 15 minutes later making no eye contact with my fellow passengers.

I didn't get a callback, but I did half-flash a busload of people.